'What If?'

That goes through my head every time I think or speak. ‘What if it is wrong?’ ‘What if I am not funny?’ ‘What if I say the wrong thing?’ ‘What if I am annoying him/her?’ ‘What if he doesn’t like me and he is being nice?’ All these ‘What if?’ question run through my mind and I start to doubt myself on everything. I also ask people if I am annoying them on Facebook but the answer is always no.

I always self-doubt myself with anything I say or I do. Being in year 12 this year, a lot of things are travelling through my mind. It being the last year of high school, what am I going to do in the future? Marriage? Kids? Money? Home? All these things, and I am only 17. I worry about everything, if people like me, my appearance, stuff like that.   

You start to mature throughout high school mostly in year 10 where you start to do VCE classes, though for me, I have matured throughout my life with being an only child and it being just mum and I.

Though ‘What If?’ still pops up when I don’t need it. One night I was talking to Shaylene over Facebook and literally ranting on why I hate being single. She is the one person who I know can be there for me and vice versa though the question, ‘what if I end up alone?’ popped up in my head. I started to get scared but I remembered, I am only 17 and I have decades ahead of me to worry about all that crap.

Sometimes you just have to go through these stages, I haven’t completely overcome this part of a teenage life crisis not a midlife crisis and teenage one, but all you can do is talk to someone who you can trust and be there for you. And literally RANT AT THEM, and in return they can rant at you. That’s what I think true friendship is about is RANTING.

In conclusion, you will have these thoughts but they are easily overcome with the support of friends and family and just believing in yourself to overcome it. Sometimes it will get you down but you are only young and have many, many years ahead of you.

***

So that happen, I am at school and have nothing do in my spare so I thought, blog time :) it’s very different and I hope you don’t mind. If you literally need someone to talk to, I am always here, if you want message me on Tumblr and I am happy to talk to you there.
If you like that kind of post, leave suggestions on what other things you want me to talk about :)

Catch you on the flip side
-KadekLouise xxx